Meeting El Roi in the coffee shop
Yesterday I heard a woman share that one of her greatest joys in her work at our local crisis pregnancy center is when she gets to introduce clients to the God of Genesis 16.
That chapter is one of those uncomfortable moments in scripture where God’s chosen people have taken matters into their own hands and created havoc rather than the solution they were seeking. In this case, Abraham and his wife Sarai were trying to manipulate their circumstances to bring about the promise God had made them. They had used a woman named Hagar in the process and then mistreated her by sending her away. She was alone and frightened in the desert, most likely unsure of her next steps or even how she would survive.
There, in that wilderness, Hagar met the angel of the Lord who told her that her circumstances weren’t without a purpose. At the close of this encounter, Hagar called God by a new name: El Roi which translates “the God Who Sees Me.”
This has always been one of my favorite names for God. He saw Hagar, and he sees me as well. And as my new friend shares with her clients, he sees all of us with eyes of great love.
I’ve been meaning to write about an encounter I had with El Roi on the misty November morning of my book launch. It testifies to my moment of knowing I was seen by God, and I share it to encourage you to ask God to reveal himself in your circumstances as well.
It was launch day for “I’d Rather Die Than Obey,” and Larry and I had played a real-life game of Tetris, fitting boxes of books, folding chairs and decorations into the back of my Rav-4. I’d hurried to take a shower, and finally we were making our way across the county to the adorable coffee shop where the event was to be held.
Everything seemed to be going fine until the first bubbles of fear began to rise.
What if no one came?
What if I had made a mistake when I decided to become an independent author?
Did I even know what I was doing?
I had prayed and trusted, offering my book as loaves and fishes for God to use, but now the enemy was attacking. Was it possible, I wondered, that I’d started following my own plan rather than God’s plan for me? As Larry drove, I prayed for peace and asked God to let me know if I was on the wrong track. I truly wanted the book and my writing to honor him.
Suddenly those doubts grew quiet, and I found myself thinking about the idea I had to name my publishing company Allie Grace Publishing in memory of my daddy’s mother. Her name was Allie, and the grace part would signal the type of content I’d be producing. Why was all of this coming to mind now?, I wondered. After all, I’d decided to go a different direction with the company name (perhaps that’s a topic for another day) and Eila Impressions had been born.
What a weird thing to come to mind, I thought, as Larry pulled the car into a parking space right near the front door of the coffee shop. I hurried through the drizzle and made my way inside to pay the rental fee before we started moving in our carload of gear. Two young ladies were working behind the counter. They knew all the steps we needed to square away the business quickly, and as we chatted, I asked their names.
“I’m Allie.”
“And I’m Grace.”
Tears flooded my eyes as I realized the God Who Sees Me had brought that story to mind so I wouldn’t miss the significance of being at that place at that moment with these two young ladies. I shared the story with them and thanked them for being confirmation of God’s goodness. I even snapped their photo to help me remember before hurrying out to tell Larry and my mom and sister.
Allie Grace wasn’t meant to be the name of my business, but it was a great code word from God to remind me that he is El Roi. He saw what I was trying to do, and he knew my heart. I could trust him with the outcome and not fall into the trap of trying to manipulate circumstances.
It’s a lesson I need to return to often as I move into new phases of my author journey and trust him with book sales, marketing and even future projects. His timing, his purpose and his direction are where I am placing my trust, not in my own striving. [Hello, Quickbooks! I’m talking to you!]
I’m sharing this lesson with you today in hopes it will remind you that God sees you as well. He loves you so, and he has a purpose for your life and can bring good from your circumstances. In the words of an old hymn, Only Trust Him.
Join me in repeating Hagar’s words, “You are the God who sees me. I have now seen the God Who Sees Me” (Genesis 16:13). Glory to his great name!
